Sword Madness
by Seaouryou
Summary: Toutousai and Myouga get drunk. That’s pretty much it.


One thing Toutousai didn't like about Myouga was that he always showed up unannounced. It was particularly annoying when he was just sitting down to a nice dinner of roast boar, or roast fish, or roast mushrooms (or roast anything, now that he thought about it) and the flea would pop up, completely ruining his meal with news that Inuyasha wanted to stuff yet another power into Tessaiga.

You know, he had told him once, irritable, it's like a cup of water. Eventually it's all going to pour over the sides. Myouga had said apologetically, Inuyasha-sama's never been the type to plan ahead or at all.

But today he welcomed the flea, because he finally had some news that didn't involve cramming explosives into a perfectly good sword. And he didn't really like roast rice, anyway.

They did it! Myouga said with a wild whoop, They defeated Naraku!I always knew my baby could do it, Toutousai said with pride, and Myouga hoped he was talking about Tessaiga because if he was talking about Inuyasha Well. That was just a tad creepy.

How about a drink, to celebrate? the sword smith offered, unearthing a large jug of sake and two cups.

Well, if you _insist_, it would be rude of me to refuse, Myouga said eagerly, hopping up and down. Toutousai set the cup down for him so that it was reachable, then sat back and sipped contentedly on his own.

Ah, but I _did_ know he could do it, Toutousai went on. He comes from good stock, him and Sesshoumaru both. Though I don't think Sesshoumaru's quite all there. Inbreeding, you know. Give it a hundred years, two hundred tops, and he'll be as crazy as his old man.Sword madness. Gets em all in the end, Myouga said, nodding sagely. It got Asako pretty bad, didn't it? You remember Asako? Inu no Taishou's sister?How could I forget, Toutousai muttered, pouring more sake.

She had what was it, four swords?Five. Two on each hip and one across the back. Said she didn't want to be out done by her little brother.Ah, that's right. She wasn't very pretty, was she? Bigger muscles than a woman should have, if you ask me.She was nothing compared to their cousin, though. What was her name? Ryouga?Ah, that's right, that's right. She didn't have swords, exactly, but she must have had a thousand weapons hidden in her clothes. I'll never understand where she put them all, especially since she wore such a form-fitting outfit Toutousai trailed off, lost in thought as he pondered the physics involved.

Myouga said, wiping away a tear, Oh, those were the good old days. So many beautiful, busty – erm, gutsy – women around. And such divine blood! I've never found a family that tasted so good!You remember her half-brother, Tomoyuki?He wasn't a girl, Myouga said, frowning. He seemed a little put out.

No, I was just thinking he went for size, instead of quantity. Do you remember how big his sword was?I remember he wasn't a girl, Myouga said bitterly. He wasn't even man-pretty.His mother, though–A fine specimen of a woman!-didn't she believe in resistentialism? yeah... But _there_ was a woman who knew how to drink!To Sayaka, then! The woman that believed the table was out to get her!

He swallowed the rest of his sake in one gulp. Myouga was literally swimming in his cup. Toutousai poured himself another glass, some of it sloshing over the sides.

yep, just like Tessiaga.I'm telling you, I'm telling you what was I telling you?Something about man-pretty?That's right! Myouga thumped himself on the chest. _Well_. Sesshoumaru, now he's man-pretty. In fact, you know what? I've been holding this in for years. Everyone's always danced around the obvious, but it's about time someone just came out and said it. Sesshoumaru's downright girly.

Toutousai nodded. That he is.That damn fluffy thing is just plain not intimidating.Sure it is. I was always sure Inu no Taishou would smother me to death. Myouga exclaimed, cracking up. Oh, those were the good old days, when the most I had to worry about was getting smothered by a great big soft fur thing. Inuyasha-sama's always dragging me into some mess or another."

The problem with him is, Toutousai said, he has no appreciation for his _roots_.Do you remember the semi-annual family get-together? he said with stars in his eyes, they'd all beat each other bloody in a great show of family love.Poor Sesshoumaru. He keeps extending the hand of brotherhood to Inuyasha, and the ignorant little brat keeps throwing it back in his face.Oh, he'll figure it out eventually. And if he doesn't well, at least he inherited the family sword love. It's a start.

--

Toutousai was woken up by someone making a disapproving noise. He pretended he hadn't heard it and tried to go back to sleep. The noise was repeated, and this time someone prodded him. He opened his eyes and looked at unfocused bare feet.

ya relly shold wear shoos even Sayaka did, an se thougt they were plotting against Inuyasha asked, staring at him. are you aware you're spooning a flea? Toutousai demanded. Inuyasha looked as though he were trying to decide if it was worth pursuing the topic. He decided against it.

Look – I need to make Tessaiga better. It can blow things up, shoot things back at the enemy, shatter barriers, shoot spears, and suck things up, but I'm not sure it's being all it can be. I – hey, are you listening to me?I gues it's al for the best you'd look ridikulos in fur_What_ are you going on about?Swor madness_You're_ the mad one!

--  
End


End file.
